The Emperor’s New Ad
A fairytale of naked wokery.
Once upon a time in the kingdom of luxury automobiles, the esteemed Jaguar board gathered to discuss a bold new vision for their brand. They had decided to embark on an avant-garde advertising campaign that would showcase their commitment to innovation and modernity. Two crafty Brand Managers approached them with grand ideas, claiming they could create an advertisement so daring that only the most discerning and sophisticated individuals would understand its brilliance. They would delete the ordinary!
The Brand Managers set to work, crafting a 30-second spectacle. Jaguar’s heritage of elegance, luxury, reliability, and performance was to mean nothing in the quest to delete the ordinary. Models of all races strode through abstract scenes, slogans echoing through the air: ‘Create Exuberant,’ ‘Live Vivid,’ ‘Delete Ordinary,’ and ‘Copy Nothing.’ And the pièce de résistance of the ad that copied nothing? This car advertisement was utterly denuded of cars.
As the advertisement premiered, the Jaguar board beamed with pride, convinced they had ushered in a new era for their brand. However, as the ad spread across the kingdom, whispers of confusion and ridicule began to arise. In the bustling marketplace of social media, one voice rang out amidst the crowd. “Do you sell cars?” Elon asked innocently, his question piercing through the pretentiousness of the moment.
The crowd erupted in laughter, echoing his sentiment. “Where are the cars?” another voice chimed in. “This is surely a joke,” and “This is another Bud Light moment.” The mocking voices multiplied, each one reflecting the bewilderment felt by many who had long admired Jaguar for its sleek designs and powerful vehicles.
Despite the growing ridicule, some in the kingdom — especially those who wanted to appear fashionable and progressive — continued to praise the ad's artistic flair. They spoke of its boldness and creativity, unwilling to admit that perhaps they were being swept away by a wave of groupthink. After all, who would dare to speak against such avant-garde artistry?
In time, the Jaguar board was forced to confront this reality. They realised that while it is admirable to break moulds, create exuberant and live vivid, they must never lose sight of what truly matters: connecting with their audience and showcasing their remarkable vehicles.
The moral of the story: go woke, go broke.
Best way around this absurdity is to laugh and see what the sales figures reflect! Also, just saying, these folks look miserable. Like waify ugly robots, no smiles to be seen... what is that supposed to signify???seems the opposite of their empty words and they look to be copying each other in their misery.
oh brilliant and so apt. My comment regarding this utter nonsense was the company was owned by Indians and run by Cowboys.... unbelievable. Such an iconic car - I simply adored the E Type - such a fierce reminder of my childhood ie you had made it if you were lucky enough to own one of these. No more. I'll stick to my very muddy Land Rover - must be Far Right as there is a Barbour on the rear seat too! No hope.....