Be a mensch.

Portraits and interviews celebrating friendship and unity.

Dec 14, 2023

‘Be a mensch’ is a series of portraits and short interviews celebrating friendship and unity between Jews and non-Jews in the UK at a time when antisemitism in the UK has skyrocketed.

When I bumped into my friend Lottie soon after 7 October she was wearing her Star of David, although her mother had begged her to take it off. She understood her mother’s concern but she didn’t think she should remove her necklace, which is an important symbol of her identity and religion.

When I saw her a month later, I noticed she had removed it. ‘I don’t feel safe travelling in London anymore,’ she told me.

There have been at least 2,093 antisemitic incidents in the UK since 7 October, which is more than the entire year prior to Hamas’ attack on Israel. And the real figure is probably even higher, because of under-reporting.

Jewish people, communities and institutions are being targeted simply for their Jewishness. The Community Security Trust is recording these incidents and has published some on their website including lit fireworks being thrown at Jewish girls, a take away owner throwing cups and plates at customers and shouting, 'we do not serve Jews’, a Jewish school being sent a threatening letter, ‘Kill Jews’ scrawled on school toilet walls and Jews shouted at and insulted in the streets. The long list makes depressing reading.

Yet most of us want to do the right thing by our Jewish friends and neighbours.

Lottie should not feel unsafe to travel in London. No one should. In these troubled times it’simportant to reach out a hand of friendship and be supportive and calm to Jewish friends, colleagues and neighbours.

At times like this, you just need to be a mensch.

Dora

I came to this country when I was 21. I felt a freedom which I had never felt before - it was the first time in my life I could say I was a Jew! The country was so wonderful.

I came without one word of English, and I learnt the language in six weeks. We didn’t lose our religion or our Jewish identity, but we wanted to adapt, to belong, to be accepted. We just felt grateful - thank you, thank you, thank you! I became more English than the English. I was even happy to queue for buses.

I lived through the Holocaust. My father was in Auschwitz. My mother and brother and I survived because we hid in the woods for months.

My father could see what was happening in Bulgaria so he took us to our villa in the country. He left us there while he went back to Sofia to get his gold. A few days later his best friend Leo came to the villa with the chauffeur, but my father was not with him. Leo put three yellow stars on the table and told us we had to wear the stars now. My mother just looked at the stars and she did not say a word. My father had never wanted us to wear stars.

The chauffeur came back for us and took us to hide in the woods. We stayed in a hut for many months, and we were brought food once a week. Eventually, he got word to my uncle who had been forced to live in the ghetto and he came to get us. They saved our lives just in time. We escaped with my uncle just after the partisans killed all the bourgeois. I will never forget seeing them all hanging in the village as we left.

We found out later that Leo had reported my father to the Gestapo. He took everything that had been my father’s, including his factory and gold. They had been best friends. Since this terrible experience of betrayal I have always relied upon myself, apart from my mama and papa.

I was the youngest prima ballerina in the Vienna Opera. I asked my friend Gertie, what she would have done at that time if we had been in the opera when the Germans came and asked if there were any Jews working there. ‘Dora,’ she said, ‘you have to understand, I would have had to tell them or I would have lost my job.’ I was stunned.

The terrorism on 7 October, and the marches since, have brought up the fear I felt as a child in Bulgaria. I don’t have the same sense of freedom anymore. I now put my Star of David under my top. I have told my grandson to take his off.

I felt like I was alone after that dark day, but I am not, because Jan is here. I have told everyone in Israel about Jan. I can’t believe I have her as a friend. I love talking to Jan and having her next to me, talking over coffee, or wine or martinis. She has a heart. She is a mensch. We need more people like Jan.

Jan

I went to see Dora after 7 October to see how she was, and ask after her friends and family in Israel. She had not long moved in as a neighbour but she had already told me something of her history and I was intrigued by her spirit of resilience and undiminished dynamism.

I was deeply shocked by the events on 7 October and the response to them, but this was nothing compared to what it means to Dora. The thing that I found most upsetting was the indifference shown by so many people, and the willingness to look away. If you don’t confront antisemitic terrorism and name it for what it is, you can justify anything. I went to the vigils for the hostages and I felt uncomfortable to be thanked by Jews just for being there. Non-Jews need to step up and challenge antisemitism wherever they hear it, so that Jews can get on with their lives in peace.

I’m happy Dora thinks I am a mensch! Being a mensch is not just a Jewish thing, it’s a human code, a way of being, and one that I find very meaningful. I love what I know of Jewish culture: the centrality of asking questions, the talking, the comedy, the writing, strong bonds of family and the willingness to laugh about even the darkest things.

Dora is the same age as my parents and although their life experiences could not be more different, in many ways, I can see a shared set of values amongst their generation. My parents are mensches too, they have a strong moral code of helping people, especially neighbours, and of taking a stand when it matters. This was strongly embedded in my childhood and although it was only later that I learned about the idea of what a 'mensch' is, I have adopted it as something of an inner code in my adult life.

Copyright Laura Dodsworth. At the ‘Never Again is Now’ vigil in London.

Rabbi Yanky

I am a proud Jew and I am proud of the values of this country. We are very blessed. We have so many freedoms that we do not even know what it means to be free. That said, I am worried about the erosion of values such as tolerance and good character. We need to respectfully debate our national identity, but the ability to politely disagree has gone out the window.

Since 7 October, I have noticed people giving me looks, but I just try and smile back. I am visibly Jewish and I won’t apologise for who I am. I understand that other Jews are scared and have made changes, but I won’t change the way I dress, because it emboldens those who want to put fear in our hearts. I want to hold my head high.

I know Jews who are re-thinking living in this country because of the rise in antisemitism, but when we come together at an event like today, it is very reassuring.

I’m still trying to process and understand what happened on 7 October. The terrorists want us to be angry and filled with hate. Our hearts have been ripped open, but it is exactly at this time that we must fill our hearts with extra love and compassion. These are easy words but very difficult to do. Giving a small piece of your heart at a time like this is how we become good human beings. It is in the darkness that we value light. The human condition is that it takes tragedy to understand this.

All human beings are capable of evil. It is not enough to think of yourself as kind or nice, you have to actively live by good choices.

My friendship with Bo and her family has grown in a tremendous way. They have come to our home and our synagogue and we speak regularly. Having the support of Bo and her family, and others from our community from different faiths who have brought flowers and candles to the Synagogue has meant a lot.

Bo and I obviously look different, but we are all created in the divine image. The outside appearance does not matter. When you see problems with others, it is normally a reflection of yourself. My family loves her family. I don’t understand the different tribal markings yet but I am student of life and willing to learn! I have already learnt a lot from Bo - she has a very good heart.

Māori are tribal and I was raised with a strong sense of my connection to the whole rather than just caring about myself.

I can never know the struggles, hardships and murderous hatred that Jews globally and through the ages have endured. But Māori understand the fight that indigenous people have. We have known the very real danger of being lost to cultures or nations who consider themselves superior and Māori insignificant, irrelevant or pointless.

I met Rabbi Yanky, his wife Rochel and their children in September last year. Our church has a 17-seater minibus and we used it to help get some kids to their Jewish school, two of Rabbi Yanky’s children among them.

A genuine friendship has developed and we were delighted when they invited us and our family - nine of us in all - to attend their home for the Shabbat meal.

Rabbi Yanky is the first Rabbi I have had the privilege to get to know just as I, no doubt, am the first tattoo-faced Gentile Christian woman he has had the chance to get to know. I am fully aware that our religious backgrounds are extremely different but I have never felt those differences created obstacles to friendship.

I believe 7 October has changed us all. The world feels darker, more dangerous, volatile and perched on a knife edge of insanity. As a Christian, I went to the ‘Never Again is Now’ event because I am outraged at the hateful tide of antisemitism and I feel it is my Christian duty to stand together with Jews and for Israel.

My husband and I have a deep respect for Rabbi Yanky and his wife Rochel. They are our friends and we will not be silent or impassive when our friends are under threat.

Josh and Hannah

Josh

Hannah was one of the first people to come up to me and ask if I am OK after 7 October. She knows I have close family in Israel and she asked after all of them. She made sure I know that she is always here for me. It means more than words can describe to me.

Whatever I have gone through in life personally or in different jobs, Hannah’s always been there for me. She’s amazing

Everyone at work has been incredible. Everyone in my team put a picture of the child hostages with ‘Bring Them Home’ on their Instagram stories. Quite a few of them had pushback from other people. They couldn't believe it, because from their point of view they were just showing support for people held as hostages in captivity. None of them backed down, they wanted to show support for the Jewish community, and that was that.

To be honest, I cried that night about what that meant to me. In every sense, work is a safe space and gets me through all this.

Being Jewish is a part of who I am. I’m not too religious, but I am active in the Jewish community, observe the Jewish holidays and we try to keep kosher in the house. Being Jewish isn’t just about religion, it is who you are.

There are a lot of accusations made towards Jewish people on social media, including that our first allegiance is to Israel. This is not true. I went to Church of England schools, I sang hymns, I went to chapel and I proudly wave the Union flag and sing the National Anthem. Britain is my home and I am British and Jewish.

Hannah

Josh and I are more than colleagues, we are friends too.

We’ve known each other for more than a decade. We both work in showbiz journalism and we met on a red carpet at Dancing on Ice. From that first meeting we supported each other as journalists, working as a tag team helping each other with questions to get the best answers from people we were interviewing.

These days we work in the same building. In fact, our desks are two rows apart. We go for lunches and dinners. We even share the same birthday! Josh rings me every year to say happy birthday, which is really sweet.

Josh is eleven years younger than me but, despite the age gap, I think of him as a mentor. He’s a more experienced broadcaster so he watches my clips and gives me advice on what I can do better and is helping me with my showreel.

My husband and parents-in-law are Jewish. Josh has helped me integrate with my in-laws because, as a proud and experienced Jew, he has helped me learn about Jewish customs and traditions. He taught me about the honey cake you eat at Rosh Hashanah. My mother-in-law was very impressed I know about the honey symbolising sweetness in the year to come, and asked if my husband had taught me and I had to say no, it was Josh!

The terrorism on 7 October was very difficult to absorb as a human being. Israel is a real flower in the Middle East because it allows people to be gay and it is woman-friendly. It was upsetting to see this attack on humanity. I wanted to make sure Josh knows I am always here for him if he needs a shoulder and to talk.

Ruth and Avi

Ruth

I got away from the Holocaust because I came to England on the Kinderstransport, which was arranged by the Quakers.

I have always felt profoundly grateful to Britain for rescuing me, because otherwise we were destined for the gas chamber. I am 88 and my memory is declining, but I remember very clearly that I knew they were out to get to me and I was escaping from something truly dreadful. That is quite a burden for a four year old.

Children were rescued, but not the mothers. I think that was a mistake. They would have been willing factory workers.

Most people who are antisemitic don’t realise they are doing it. There is a general underlying perception that Jews are bad. I haven’t experienced any terrible things, but one incident when I was working in a school has stuck in my mind. When I gave a pupil a bunch of papers to give out to the class, one girl tried to take two sheets and the girl who was giving them out wouldn’t let her and said ‘don’t be so Jewish’. It shook me that ‘Jewish’ was used as an adjective for meanness.

I have puzzled and puzzled over antisemitism. It is so pervasive all you can do is hope to drive it underground. The problem is that it is very human to hate, as human as it is to love - both are deeply embedded in our psyches. Humans need a scapegoat and the Jews present a perfect hate object: there aren’t enough of them to be a threat and they don’t tend to behave threateningly. They are loaded with negative stereotypes that people project on to them.

I see people as people. I have Jewish and non-Jewish friends. I am very impressed that Avi, who had nothing to do with the Holocaust, is so interested in it. I can’t wrap my head around the fact that most of the human race was not prepared to do anything to stop a section of the human race from being wiped out. Why was there not an outcry to stop it? Jews are people too.

Avi

I first met Ruth in 2020 when I did a zoom interview with her for the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum archives in Washington DC during the Covid lockdown. We continued to stay in touch over the years and met for the first time in person when I visited London this year.

My journey began when I first noticed spikes in antisemitism on social media, especially conspiracy theories about Jews on Facebook around 2016. That eventually lead me to volunteering in Jewish museums and later writing about the Holocaust and Jewish affairs in the media. I speak 11 languages and particularly love doing interviews in Yiddish which is what many Jews spoke pre-war but is now a dying language.

There is something very rewarding about interviewing Holocaust survivors. The vast majority of people are unaware of the basic facts behind the Holocaust and it has become an overly-trivialised subject. Since my generation grew up with World War II films and popular culture from ‘Captain America’ to ‘Schindler’s list’, I simply can’t describe the feeling when I meet those who survived the adversity in person.

Antisemitism was there before I was born and will exist long after I go. But we must all do our part as individuals to fight any form of racism whenever possible.

I’ve experienced racism too as a Sri Lankan Tamil who has lived in many places. As a non-White I have got racism from both antisemites and Jewish people alike for what I do. But I’ve personally never received racism from the older generation of Jews and survivors. The overwhelming majority of Jewish people have been appreciative towards me as an outsider who does this and even defended me when I faced racism from other Jews.

Meeting survivors like Ruth has been very rewarding and I advise everyone to get out of their comfort zone and make an effort to make friends of other ages, communities and cultures. Just be open minded; don’t ‘overthink’ because we all have a lot to learn from each other.

#BeAMensch

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